I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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