Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
