If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
