No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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