C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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