Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
porn star boner night. come get it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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