Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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