i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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