I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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