discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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