am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
