I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have aggressive nipples.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
