He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
