she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
