brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
