you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
