no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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