So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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