And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
