she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
