Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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