She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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