There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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