Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
