Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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