Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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