YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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