How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
