yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
