my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
