Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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