the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
