Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
