I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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