Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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