i wish my penis had a tongue
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
