Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
