He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
