is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
3pm strippers are depressing
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
