I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
