We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
