Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
