It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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