HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
