there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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