So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
