It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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