how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
