Michael Bay diarrhea
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
