you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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